Morass of Gating Dating: Cause for More A–es?

To be a gay man is to expect to be eviscerated–especially from other gay men. Nowhere is it more evident of gay-on-gay slime than in the morass of gay dating. Let’s face it – the majority of guys are led by their sticks; when it points, the stick holder follows. And when it points downward, some guys would rather grab a shovel and dig a hole rather than spend time with someone they don’t like, even if they’re left with father hand and his five sons for the night.

I guess the adage that a guy looks for any hole to plough into carries much falsehood. Judging by the methodical weeding out of ethnicities, sizes, ages, and shapes–which has reached heights of infamy–males have evolved. Evolved into what, I’m not sure. Usually the determining factor is the photo, and if, say on craigslist or a gay chat dating site, your photo doesn’t catch the eye of someone, you’re back to scrolling through every iteration of sexual desire and affinity from the continuous postings and entrances and exits of the room.

I’m not picky. I’ve been with all sorts of people–we’re not talking multitudes, mind you–and some I’m not even attracted to. Most likely due to my low self-esteem. But realistically, I’ve come to grips that I’m not the most attractive person. But submersing yourself into this type of one-glimpse roulette world of dating is more than detrimental to your  self perception.
For instance, you’ll chat up some guy with many a sexual innuendo and then when the time comes to trade photos, there’s unnerving silence or a flurry of lame excuses. I’ve actually heard of photo collectors though I’m not sure how excited someone could get looking at a poorly taken photo of someone else holding up a camera to his face. But to each his own.

I think the main thing is that many gay men have adopted this incivility toward each other and nowhere is that more evident than in the dating scene. And while proves that gays don’t go for anything that has a dick, it also shows that gays can be dicks just as much as anyone else.

  • ken lee

    Although I agree with you about the prominence of promiscuity among gays, I don’t think we should let the loudest members of the gay community define how the rest of us date and interact with each other.

    As gays, we get wrongly criticized as people with a lack of morals. Just because there are people out there that looking for dick, doesn’t mean that every gay has to act that way. Gays are like anyone other straight person: there are those who cruise around and those who are able to sustain more long-term relationships.

    We know how to date and sustain monogamous relationships, get married, raise families.

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