“No Asians”– No Bigots

When does a sexual preference become an act of racism?

It’s disconcerting for any gay guy to find that the seemingly magical world of rainbows is as normal as the heterosexual one—meaning that the same bigots and ignoramuses also populate Gay Land.

Take, for example, the issue highlighted in a great article by fab Magazine. Alex Rowlson talks about the tendencies of Grindr (a gay social app for smartphones that could be utilized for hookups) users in stating “No Asians,” “No Blacks,” “No whatever” in their profiles, and how this is reversing what should be the liberating culture of gays. Rowlson calls for all gays to be more inclusive of others, and to do so, change both the language and mentality of our preferences to end the sexual segregation that currently dominates gay culture.

source: http://www.douchebagsofgrindr.com/

Interestingly, this article has stirred up a blog war among the porn writers at The Sword and Gawker’s Fleshbot (this is relatively safe for work). While The Sword’s Zach October declares the article as an instance of overblown political correctness, Fleshbot’s Cedric Dewittison condemns October for maintaining the view that ultimately continues to support prejudiced behavior. October states that all gay men have a right to declare their sexual preferences, and that the refusal of a certain race for hookups does not imply that one is a racist. Dewittison refutes this argument on the basis that discriminatory language of all forms foster prejudice, and further claims the importance of inclusive language.

From the point of view as a gay of Asian ethnicity and a supposed “victim” of stereotyping, I feel that both make valid arguments.

When I used to go on Grindr with my boyfriend, I remember seeing some of the ignorant messages that circulated through various profiles. I’ve had my fair share of rejections, simply because of my ethnicity, but I realized that I wouldn’t want to associate with the sort of people who tended to judge on outer appearances anyway.

source: http://www.douchebagsofgrindr.com/

Of course, as The Sword’s October so pointedly states, we cannot judge the gay community based on the douchebags that populate the world, especially in outlets that have a big focus on one-night stands. After all, we know what kind of bad name promiscuous gays bring to the community. I think, however, that the use of such discriminatory language does have an impact on others. Here, Fleshbot’s Dewittison makes a valid point about the importance in how we state our preferences, despite its perceived silliness. Even if you are not of a minority racial group, statements that exclude people still hurts. A phrase like “No whatever” is one step away from saying “No you,” because of one’s appearance or genetic makeup, and nobody likes being judged prematurely.

Fleshbot’s Dewittison, however, fails to mention that any racial statement—negative or positive— creates connotations that are discriminatory. Even phrases like “I love Asian boys” and “I want Latino men” is racist in that it automatically associates certain qualities in their racial stereotypes. As an Asian guy, I’m often assumed to be submissive and physically weak, because of my ethnicity. Please, for the sake of my sanity, can we, for once, refrain from thinking that all Asians are alike? Instead of generalizing people to a stereotype, think about what qualities that constitute the attraction/revulsion is related to the race of a person.

Another point that has been missing from the discussion is the subject of racism within minorities. I sensed from all three writers the generalization that minorities like Asians, blacks, latinos, etc. are always the victims from racial attacks from white guys. This frustrates me to no end. Come on, give us Asians some respect— we can have our own jerks too! I don’t want to get into a whole discussion about the complicated issue of discrimination within the gay Asian community, but just know that there are Asians that can be just as racist.

source: http://www.douchebagsofgrindr.com/

All in all, the discussion brings up the important issue of sexual preferences and racism. I agree that all gays should be more inclusive in their opinions of what attracts them in guys and avoid the pitfalls of prejudice that so frequently discriminates against gays. I don’t mean to say that everyone should date someone of a different race— just that the world would be a better place if we all kept an open mind and acknowledge the long-term consequences of the things we casually say.

If we gays cannot even tolerate the diversity of voices in our own community, how can we fight the social injustices that we face by others?




Kenny is a current college student in Ann Arbor, Michigan. One of the sorry sins of this world is the existence of people who consider themselves witty when they are not. Kenny would like to apologize with utmost sincerity.

  • TJ

    speaking of which
    why do straight guys are way more interested in Asian girls more than white gays
    Even white girls these days start to date with Asian guys
    and black too
    it’s like…. we take the bad things & and trade with the good things to them
    Like I admit that I think Caucasians are my type, but I know some Middle Eastern, Indians, black, Asians are hot as well
    to put notion “no” (100{fcb958ce3a03926c99cd1d51a736c94a9306748e27aaebdb2700aa0fcaff4a10}) that I cannot possibly blah blah because ALL of them are blah blah blah is …. kinda racist to be honest. It’s like homophobic ppl say we all have HIV.
    And here I naively thought that gay community would know better about “empathizing/openness” to diversity and differences. They would like differences more than anyone else like what they always boast about “diversity”
    …. I start to really think being gay is really suck more and more if it’s actually becoming worse. We are no better than those narrow minded fools trying to hunt us down. We actually want to become one of them like how some black community targets on us after black-racism issues.
    We are that low and selfish I guess.

    Continue reading on Examiner.com Discrimination among gay men for real – San Francisco Gay Relationship | Examiner.com http://www.examiner.com/gay-relationship-in-san-francisco/discrimination-among-gay-men-for-real#comment-14948096#ixzz1qTF7EoA0

    • guest 2

      I got in an argument about a white masseuse that gave me a massage. But in his Manhunt profile he stated Asians and Black need not apply. I was furious and called him out but he said rather than ignore people he wanted to make sure no Asians or Blacks messaged him. But for money he does touch your privates a little to get a bigger tip. Never went back to this idiot. I told him I just don’t respond to the people I’m not interested in.

      • Chris Tan

        We should not waste our time on ignorant and racist people!

  • Anonymous

    I know plenty of white guys who do not have sex with Asians as they prefer men to have big penises and always think Asian men are effeminate sub bottom guys with small dicks and are not particularly attracted as well to Asian facial features. But these guys hang out all the time with Asians people as friends to go clubbing or restaurant. I dont think they are racists but their sexual preference is only with other whites guys.
    On the other hand, I know a lot of Asians guys who only like white guys. For some reasons Asians guys do not consider other Asians as attractive (for most of them). Is this self-hatred or are we all conditioned by the media to think Asians guys are less desirable that even Asian men do it?

    • Nicholas

      You Made some ignorant statements. Not all Asians have small dicks. Not all Asians are bottoms. Some Asians are attracted to other Asians. It is sexual preference.

    • Kevin Harris

      I never thought Asians are unattractive. In fact, I find asian guys more and more attractive these days. My preference shift to asians especially since I travelled extensively in Asia and South East Asian region. It was an eye opener. I stepped outside my norm of dating my own kind (Caucasian). I now have a different preference. I find asian guys possess many good qualities that we as Caucasians don’t normally have.

  • Marcus

    I’m a bit late on the bandwagon for this article. Racism in the LGBT community exists on dating websites/services for sure. I’m a Chinese gay guy living in Malaysia (I previously lived in Australia during my formative gay years and experienced racism there in person – ie. pre-dating website use) and I’ve seen racism here against Malays/Chinese/Indians… and yes, some of it is preference, but there are guys who just don’t even want to associate themselves with someone of another race just because.

    On Grindr, people can hide behind their phone and their true colours can show. I’m curious to know what it’s like in person in places like the US/predominantly Western countries? Do people discriminate in person? Has anyone been blatantly rejected in a club (or from a club for that matter) just because of their race?

    • Chris Tan

      Of course, it happens in US. I myself had this experience where I was in line outside a gay bar in San Francisco where other gay white guys were standing behind me. One of them made a racist remark and one of his friends tried to stop him. I knew that he was talking about me because I was the only minority standing in front of them. I pretended that I did not hear him and I ignored them completely. I did not turn back my head. Turning back your head or walking away from them will give him what he wants. The best way to deal with these ignorant and racist people is to ignore them completely! There are way too many racist people in the gay community, especially when they know that they are the majority in the gay community.

  • Sauladams

    I’m mostly white, and I LOVE ASIAN MEN! So calm down everyone… We all have our own preferences. This is not racism issue. It will become a human rights issue though if some people try to coerce other people into sleeping with ethnicities they don’t want to sleep with.

  • NevadaSummer

    all the more reason asians should not date white guys. should not even look at them. they will disappoint you. You can’t force a certain group of people to have sex with people not their type but then again, you don’t have to be utterly rude and show your lack of social grace. I admit, I’m asian and I admire caucasian men, but they put me off to the point I no longer look at another white man, because all I see is a self loving narcicist shallow queen who boosts his ego regularly by discriminating weaker cultures/minorities. with that being said I suggest we further the segregation of gays by putting the race catered by an APP or club like “Gay White CLub” or like “Gay asian dating aapp” something like that. or if you are inclined ethnically, “Gay Interracial Club” then that way those “White Man” can be all by themselves. and Trust me when they get old and fat and ugly, they will run after you asian guys. LOL.

  • anonymous

    the funny thing about this is that the first guy is a latino actor in mexico…. yet he states “no LATINO, black and asian” the docuhebags on grindr are so stupid, literally.

    • random

      do you think that the guy in the first pic is actually who he says he is? it could be some random jerk who just put up that actor’s pic on his profile.

  • anonymous

    the actors name is william levy

  • Billy Spark

    Think of grindr as less of a “community” than what it is: a “market”.

  • ChinaHand

    Korean, Japanese, Chinese men have huge cocks. I should know, I’ve spent years sucking them. I’ve known black men with small cocks and I’ve also loved sucking them. White guys are the last in my list, but that doesn’t mean I’m racist. It’s only stupid, arrogant, unhinged guys I hate. I’m an old rice queen, who loves blacks, whites,fems, fats, Asians and anyone who gets my rocks off. Period.

    • Chris Tan

      Likewise, it is wrong to stereotype any ethnic groups!

  • mawibri

    Personally I find asian and oriental asian guys in particular refreshingly open and tolerant and one point in particular, although it is not good to generalise, they are much more open to consider any age and actually seem to prefer a more mature outllook. so asians for me any time!

    • Chris Tan

      It is not true that Asians prefer a more mature outlook. I have seen white guys looking for older white guys simply because they are looking for a father figure!

  • Chad

    I like a lot of Asian and white and latino guys but I’m just not attracted to blacks so while it’s not particularly ideal to write “no blacks”, if the user is getting lots of contacts from people they’re just not into… eventually it’s just an inevitable that they’ll straight up say, “no blacks”. But the thing is, a lot of white guys don’t necessarily want to look racist, so they’ll actually exclude other races as well just not to look racist against just blacks.

    So I might write “No blacks or latinos”… even though I actually do like latinos.

    • Chris Tan

      Why must you mention ethnicity since it is a very sensitive issue? It is like companies looking to hire someone and they advertise: ‘No Whites, Blacks or Hispanics should apply!’ Does it sound right?

      • Lucius

        Woah woah woah.. You may have a equal right to apply for a job or have access to water fountains. But you don’t have equal access to my pants. If I don’t find a certain group attractive then its just easier to put on a profile who you are interested in or not. The fact that you even compared a human being’s sexuality to a fu#king public business is just inhumane. No, it does not sound right.

        I just said in the post that you’ll get a lot of replies from people of a certain race you’re just not into. It saves my time, it saves their time to just be upfront and honest. But no, I’m not rude, I don’t say “Fuhk off ni##ers” on my profile.

        Granted this would be a non-issue if I could just select to make my profile private to certain groups. Which I think they should implement that so some people don’t have to go through thousands of profiles of people saying they don’t want this or that group. And I don’t have to be harassed by them constantly for attention.

    • Europa

      I’ve seen you everywhere. You’re the same gay who tries to say asians are white, For goodness sake, you’re not white,you are an Asian. Get some damn pride in your race and stop worshipping white people. Asians like you are the ones that white people tend to avoid, and it’s asians like you who give your race a bad reputation of competing so aggressively for white men. And yes, I’m white myself, so I know what I’m talking about.

      • Lucius

        Don’t presume you know anything about me.

        I merely say white is a description of skin tone. Which it is. Just as black is a description for dark skin. It’s perfectly logical that some Indians can be light skinned or white, same with East Asians, often in Korea & Japan. Same with the Hebrews. Same with Arabs. Etc… Etc… Etc…

        Europeans don’t own a patent on whiteness. It is simply more prevalent amongst them.

        You think I’m Asian just because I think logically? lol I suppose that’s a compliment to Asian people.

  • WelshRain

    Personally, I find all forms of discrimination appalling but don’t believe one’s lack of attraction to another can be determined as racist. We all have our own preferences and these are often hard-wired into our brains. Some guys prefer others from a specific age group, others prefer men to be tall dark and handsome. There are chubby chasers, guys into guys that wear glasses, twink lovers and those that have father fantasies (to name but a few). I think ignorance and stereotyping is every bit as destructive as pure, unadulterated discrimination but know that most guys will not consider their preferences in this way.I guess I could be considered a racist in that I am a Caucasian man who absolutely prefers Asian guys. My boyfriend is Thai and I’m sure he won’t mind me divulging that he is extremely well endowed! He is not only utterly beautiful physically but has the most endearing, exciting, gentle and warm personality of anyone I know. Those that believe that Asian guys are not worthy of a white partner should realise that it is they that are not worthy; it’s them that are losing out.

  • Jimmie

    I’m black and I think Asian guys are extremely good looking. Who cares about their penis size. I like their looks and conversation. And watching movies together, dating, etc…
    No with that being said, I find that anyone who is non-white and wants to date someone chinese, japanese, malay, korean, etc…had better buy a ticket and look for someone from the mainland. Its been my personal experience that most “Americanized” Asians predominately like white guys. It’s like they are going after some prize to catch one. No matter how ugly the white dude is, they will have a swarm of Asians around them like like flies to shit. Its sad really. Seems as if they have been so white washed and fed the “American propaganda routine” so much by watching American TV and Media that they can’t see the beauty, strength, and achievement in other people. So a word to the wish. If you do like Asian guys and you are a Non-white American, make sure you make a trip overseas. You will find what you are looking for. Here, you will find a que of Asians at the club waiting in-line the be the next lucky contestant on “Suck a white guys dick and get dumped” show.

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